Before You Break by Christina Lee

Author:Christina Lee [Lee, Christina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Romance, Contemporary, General, Juvenile Fiction, Love & Romance
ISBN: 9780698141261
Google: scEAAQAAQBAJ
Barnesnoble:
Publisher: Penguin
Published: 2014-02-17T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eighteen

Quinn

“Suicide prevention line. This is Gabriella.”

I tried finding my confident voice. “Gabby.”

Even though I didn’t feel like driving headlong into a tree tonight, I still found it tough to dial this number. Gabby had sort of become a salvation for me, and for that I would be eternally grateful.

“Daniel,” she said, her voice laced with worry. Maybe she thought I was holding a damn revolver to my head or something.

“Hi.” I had driven out to the cliff again tonight and now sat perched along the edge.

“Hi.” I heard her swallow. “How are you feeling tonight?”

“That’s kind of why I’m calling.” This time as I looked down into the shadowy water below, I didn’t feel the urge to jump.

“Okay,” she said. “Go for it. I’m here to listen.”

“The last time we spoke, I told you what happened that night,” I said. “The night that changed my life. Changed a lot of people’s lives.”

“Yes, of course. I remember,” she said and it sounded like she took a sip of something. Coffee, soda, water.

I didn’t know anything about her. What she looked like, how old she was, where she lived. Only that she was this calming voice. This peaceful force that permitted me to spill my guts. Spill my soul. There was something about her that felt so familiar to me, but it may as well have been her gentle demeanor, her insightful advice that made me feel so comfortable.

“I’ve been thinking about the power I held in my hands that night,” I said. “I mean, I shift my car one way, crash into a truck, and everybody’s world is turned upside down.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“Powerless.” I took a deep breath. “It’s so crazy, but that’s exactly how I felt. Because of everything going on inside of me. And inside of the car.”

There was a long silence as Gabby considered what I’d said.

“You were just trying to get your friends home. And struggling to figure out how you felt about a certain girl. Typical stuff that happens in a teenager’s life,” she said. “See, Daniel. That’s why you’re a good person. You couldn’t help everything that happened; it was just an accident. You weren’t trying to mess with anybody’s life.”

This time when she told me I was good, I didn’t even flinch. I didn’t try to fight it. I’d thought about it long and hard since the last time she’d told me the same thing.

She paused and I heard her chair squeak as she adjusted herself. “If your best friend had been in the driver’s seat, how would it have gone differently?”

“Maybe he would have had more control,” I said. “Of his emotions, of the car.”

“You’d never know that for sure,” she said. “Even if someone appears to have it all together all the time, you can never predict the other factors that come into play. Road conditions, state of mind, others drivers’ actions. Everything comes together to create those circumstances. That’s what makes life so mysterious, so fragile, so precious.

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